I've worked in hotels for more than a decade. I've checked you in, checked you out, oriented you to the property, served you a beverage, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service (before and, sadly, after), cleaned your toilet, denied you a late checkout, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&M's out of your minibar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. From New Orleans to New York, I've played by hotel rules and, in the process, learned every aspect of the industry. Due to the fact that I just don't care anymore, I will now offer easy and never-publicized tips and tricks.
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